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Last Christmas I gave you my heart
but the very next day
you said you were gay
This year to save me from queers
I’ll give it to a heterosexual.
THE FIRST TIME I GOT HIGH I GOT REALLY INSPIRED AND I WROTE DOWN A BEAUTIFUL SONG AND I THOUGHT IT WAS SO GREAT AND ORIGINAL AND MOVING BUT THEN A FEW DAYS LATER WHEN I WASN’T HIGH I FOUND IT ON MY FLOOR AND REALIZED I HAD JUST WRITTEN DOWN THE LYRICS TO FIREWORK BY KATY PERRY
The first time I got high I ate a sleeve of saltines and half a jar of peanut butter, had an allergic reaction, and made up a TV show and called myself Patricia.
*Priscilla, and you thought the unopened sleeve of saltines was the most profound thing you’d ever seen
HOLD ON WHAT? I don’t remember the thing about the sleeve of saltines?
You were looking for the sleeve of saltines you were already eating, but the box only had the unopened one, so you looked at me and said “how profound”
I really wish we would have just handed you a camera and made you record everything because that sounds fantastic.
Or I could just get a lot of zyrtec and repeat the whole night… hmmm
The first time I got high I finished three bowls by myself, hit on my friend’s dad, couldn’t escape Gravity’s congratulatory hug or leave the couch. I watched The Goonies and I don’t remember it at all Except for HEY YOU GUYSSSS. I drooled as I screamed that.
so i was wearing this today
and it felt kinda familiar so i adjusted the shirt
put my hair down and accessorized
BOOM KIM POSSIBLE
OMG WHY IS THIS GETTING NOTES
because you actually look like a hella attractive accurate version of kim possible
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